Week 12 – Famous in Our Own Minds Pick’em

Three Guys, No UVA Football, and Apparently… Jack Is Perfect Now

With no UVA football to stress over this week, the three of us wandered into the wilderness of boredom and chaos. Some people pick up new hobbies during a bye week. Some clean the house. Some reconnect with loved ones. We? We make NFL picks we’ll regret by Sunday at 4:15.

And speaking of regret, last week delivered something none of us have ever witnessed, at least not in any living memory: Jack went 3–0. Yes, that Jack. Perfect. Undefeated. Flawless. You’re more likely to stumble upon Bigfoot riding a unicorn than see Jack run the table, yet here we are.

Meanwhile Jay and Jeff? A pair of chilly 1–2 records, keeping the ice bucket challenge alive in late November.

So the standings entering Week 12:

Jay: 16–17

Jeff: 14–19

Jack: 14–19 and acting like the 1927 Yankees after last week’s miracle

Let’s get into the picks.

JAY’S PICKS

Seahawks -13.5 at Titans

The Titans stink. There’s no other way to put it. Seattle, on the other hand, is actually good—like, real good—and Sam Darnold and JSN are about to become best friends on national television. Expect that hookup early, often, and with extreme prejudice. Jay sees a blowout here, and honestly… who can blame him?

Browns at Raiders – Under 36.5

Yes, it’s a low number. Yes, it’s supposed to be uncomfortable. But it’s Shadeur Sanders’ first NFL start, and he has to deal with a violent Raiders pass rush in his debut. Meanwhile the Raiders offense isn’t exactly the Greatest Show on Turf. This one has 13–10 written all over it.

Buccaneers at Rams – Over 49.5

Baker Mayfield vs. Matthew Stafford? Fireworks.

Buccaneers defense against the pass? Questionable.

Puka Nacua and Davante Adams? Hungry.

This game might hit 50 by late third quarter. Jay says points, points, and more points.

JEFF’S PICKS

Jaguars -3 at Cardinals

Fresh off a big win over the Chargers, the Jags may have cracked the code: run the ball and don’t let Trevor Lawrence do too much. Arizona counters with Beef Jacoby Brissett, who Jeff does not trust to keep this close. Jags roll.

Vikings at Packers – Under 41.5

Neither offense is what it was supposed to be, and late November at Lambeau doesn’t scream “offensive explosion.” Picture cold hands, dropped passes, stalled drives, and field goals. Lots and lots of field goals.

Patriots at Bengals – Under 50.5

Fifty points??

Without Ja’Marr Chase???

Because he was suspended for spitting on Jalen Ramsey?!?!

Jeff said no thanks. Even if Joe Burrow returns from injury, 50.5 is a big ask for a team missing its biggest weapon. Under all day.

JACK’S PICKS

(Fresh off a 3–0 week and now walking around like he’s Jimmy the Greek)

Colts +3.5 at Chiefs

An 8–2 team catching points against a 5–5 team? Jack doesn’t care if it’s Mahomes and Kelce or if Taylor Swift flies in to perform at halftime. He’s rolling with the Colts.

Raiders -3.5 vs Browns

Jack is banking on Geno Smith and the Raiders to take care of business. Yes… Geno Smith. And yes… this is the same Browns team Jay thinks will be in a rock fight. Bold pick. Brave pick. Potentially tragic pick.

Browns/Raiders – Over 36.5

Directly at odds with Jay’s under. Jack must be imagining both defensive units scoring a touchdown or two. Honestly? With these teams, that might not even be the craziest scenario.

FINAL THOUGHTS: UVA FOOTBALL COME BACK PLEASE

We’ve learned many things this week:

• Life without UVA football leaves us alone with our thoughts, and that’s dangerous.

• Jack going 3–0 is basically a solar eclipse—rare, beautiful, and slightly terrifying.

• All three of us can’t agree on anything, not even whether the Browns and Raiders can cross 37 points.
  
  

Enjoy Week 12, and may your picks be better than ours—though let’s be real, that bar is pretty low unless your name is Jack last week only.