FAMOUS IN OUR OWN MINDS PICK’EM – WEEK 13
Thanksgiving week is here, which means family, football, feasting… and Jay Ballard going 1–2 like clockwork. The standings are tightening up, Jeff is heating up, Jack is in full denial mode, and the boys have cooked up another batch of picks just in time for the holiday chaos. From unders in ugly-weather games to overs involving teams that barely know how to score, this week’s slate has everything — including Jay’s annual attempt to escape the 1–2 curse. Will he finally do it? Will Jeff keep rolling? Will Jack’s takes survive contact with reality? Dive in for all the Week 13 picks, the Thanksgiving jokes, and at least one Max Brosmer reference nobody asked for.
Jay Ballard
11/27/20252 min read
Thanksgiving Week — and Jay’s 1–2 record is as reliable as the turkey showing up on the table.
Last week, Jay delivered yet another classic 1–2 performance. At this point, if you told Vegas “Jay went 1–2,” they’d just nod and say, “Yeah, that tracks.” It’s become so dependable that your family might as well put it on the Thanksgiving menu between mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.
Jeff, meanwhile, put together a strong 2–0–1 week — and yes, he contributed the first push of the entire season. Only Jeff could find the one outcome no one ever wants to bet on. Jack matched Jay’s 1–2, but we won’t talk about that because Jack gets weirdly defensive when you bring it up.
STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 12
Jay: 17–19
Jeff: 16–19–1
Jack: 15–21
We’ve got three guys bunched up like the line outside Best Buy at 4 a.m. on Black Friday.
But Thanksgiving week is here — where the picks are hot, the takes are hotter, and Jay’s 1–2 record is still probably warming in the oven.
JAY’S WEEK 13 PICKS
Trying to avoid stuffing the stat sheet with another losing record.
Colts -4.5 vs Houston
Jonathan Taylor gets going again, even vs a tough Texans D. Jay sees Indy by a touchdown — which means expect drama, sweat, and probably one extremely unnecessary turnover.
Raiders at Chargers — OVER 40.5
A weirdly low number with Justin Herbert coming off a bye. Jay says this is a “get-right” game. Raiders fans call that a fantasy.
Broncos -6 at Washington
Jay is all in on RJ Harvey’s Sunday Night breakout. He’s already yelling “FIRE HIM UP IN FANTASY!” while the rest of us wonder if he’ll even get enough touches to fire up a microwave.
JEFF’S WEEK 13 PICKS
Quietly heating up at the right time.
Vikings at Seahawks — UNDER 41.5
Starting at QB for Minnesota: Max Brosmer. Yes, that’s a real person. Jeff doesn’t think they score enough to threaten the over. Hard to argue.
Cardinals at Buccaneers — UNDER 43.5
Baker is iffy, and even if he plays, Jeff says this total still feels high. Under it is.
Rams at Panthers — OVER 44.5
The Panthers give up points like they’re handing out coupons. Stafford should get this over the number, if not by himself, then with garbage-time charity.
JACK’S WEEK 13 PICKS
(Written by Jay Ballard, who denies all responsibility.)
49ers -4.5 at Cleveland
Jack boldly predicts Shedeur Sanders takes his first loss as a starting NFL Quarterback. Shocking right? Niners cover in bad weather.
Buccaneers -2.5 over Arizona
The line smells fishy to everyone but Jack. He’s all in on Tampa anyway.
Bills at Steelers — UNDER 46.5
Cold weather, late November, and Jack says this stays under. Watch it end 30–28 just to spite him.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
It’s Thanksgiving week — the time for family, feasting, and fading at least two of our picks for your own safety. Jay looks to finally escape the 1–2 curse, Jeff tries to keep cooking, and Jack is just hoping Shedeur doesn’t hear what he said about him.
May your turkey be moist, your bets be winners, and your Max Brosmer references be few and far between.